2016 Golden Successes
THE SKILLED CON ARTIST
I have the measure of my Mum. I know just what to do
To get that extra bikkie and she hasn’t got a clue.
I use the lean and hungry look and stare hard at the tin.
No way can she resist me, to refuse would be a sin.
“Who’s wrecked this bed ?” she yells at me “Who’s chased the cat again?”
The game is up so I adopt a mix of shame and pain
One of my looks from huge brown eyes, my head held on a tilt
Despite the culprit being me, it’s her who’s filled with guilt.
I do a sit, I do a down, I roll and show my belly
She thinks I’m far more fun to watch than rubbish on the telly
I back on to the sofa and although I’m not allowed
Before she can say “no” to me, I’m beside her, looking proud.
Another ploy is snuggling up beside her on the chair
But my wriggling proves to be too much, far more than she can bear.
She doesn’t want to move me cos she loves this cheeky chappie
So she’ll kneel on the floor in front – I win again – I’m happy.
I sit in front and tap her then wave with my big paw
She doesn’t even notice that I scratched her with my claw
I‘m totally appealing, I really act the part
I’ve mastered all the gestures to melt my Mummy’s heart
I rest my chin upon her lap and gaze into her eyes
She’s really very gullible for one so worldly wise
One simple trick performed by me and I get all the glory
And conning Dad is easier but that’s another story
Poem by Jeff Shepherd